If you have dark hair and dark eyes you will be asked that question by our dear daughter, Sarah. At Johnny's soccer games 2x in a row she has asked hispanic children if they are rom China. I think she is just figuring out the world around her! She isn't quite sure of the more common characteristics of an east asian person- so every Hispanic, Indian, and some African Americans- while I'm at it I may as well include the Italians and the Serbians and the list goes on! People are usually quite surprised by that question- the say "Huh?" Today the girls responded "No, we are from Minnesota and Mexico"!
Sarah's questions are getting more frequent now- they are also getting harder for me. There seems to be a huge grey area where the answer is not completely clear. Such as "Do policeman work outside?" Yes, well usually, well sometimes, but not all policeman. Hmmmm, did you learn anything from that answer? I didn't either! A lengthy explanation would only lose her attention. If history repeat itself like it tends too with our sweety, she'll be asking that again. Maybe next time I will have a better answer?
The other day she was playing with her neighborhood friend. I heard her say frequently how big her feet were and how big she was and well... Sarah little, see, Sarah feet little, Sarah leg small - well you get the picture. I am sure these comments are not in the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People". When her friend went down to play in the playroom I suggested to her that maybe she not talk about size. Everybody is different and different is okay. I mentioned that often people don't really want to be told how big they are. (like momma's underwear is big, Sarah is small- I'm gonna have to toss the hipsters and switch to the thongs). She was bewildered at that and but then went off to play. Sometimes it is hard for her when I say things like that. I feel like am looking out for her but she may take it as a criticism.
With older child adoption you tend to talk about the same thing over and over again with your child- mostly because they know how to communicate that issue with you and they don't know how to talk about other things. You have to be creative in changing up the conversation. (I'm still working on that!) In the beginning we were so thrilled to be able to communicate that we didn't care, we just keep discussing whatever it was. Now we are desperate to bring some new thoughts into the conversations.
Sarah is back at swimming- wow, she is getting really good and she loves it! It is so wonderful to see her excel at something!! Just an FYI- swimming is a wonderful bonding experience with adopted kids! Lots of touching, trust building, some relaxing and lots of fun!
Sarah is growing her hair long but we are in a dilemma about the bangs? Anyone out there have a preference and why? Bangs or no bangs? Please let me know what you think? Sarah likes it both ways, so she wants to know what you think! I am a no fuss person- bangs work but I will probably do the trimming. She has a lot of hair so we may need to cut more bangs or pull some back (I can do that). Any thoughts?
One last word from me- I am so grateful to God for letting me be the Momma to these incredible girls!!
Thank you Jesus!